Disclaimer: that I rarely write about my personal life but I thought this was a story worth mentioning before I write this, I should note. Some areas of it are very comical, as much meet-the-parents tales are, but please understand that i’m in no real method offending or belittling the mentioned facets of Korean tradition. I am only showcasing the awkwardness that may sometimes arise whenever East Meets West when it comes to relationships. In addition believe that this tale will help other foreigners in comparable situations get ready for just just what they may encounter.
In just per month left in Korea, my boyfriend, Yongguen, looked to me personally as well as in a no-nonsense tone announced which he desired us to fulfill their moms and dads.
In Korea, the organization of dating is a lot more black-and-white than it really is when you look at the western. There is none with this “It really is complicated. ” “we are chatting. ” “we are texting”. “we have been dating for a but we still haven’t had the DTR (defining the relationship) talk year. ” No. None of this. After two or three times with somebody, it is immediately thought that the relationship that is exclusive been created. Also, the total amount of time a couple of in Korea times is calculated in similar to dog years. just exactly What Westerners might think about a time that is short 100 times, as an example- Koreans think about monumental. Knowing this, I made certain to describe to my boyfriend in early stages (the very first date) we do things just a little differently into the western. Realizing that I would be Korea that is leaving additionally told him that i did not wish any such thing severe.
We enlisted assistance from my Korean girlfriends. Each had different things to state, a number of their advice contradictory. “Wear a dress that is cute heels .” “Wear something casual which means you’re perhaps maybe not trying too much.” “Bring them something special.” “Don’t bring them something special.” “cannot talk unless they ask you questions.” Well, we knew i really could follow through with that final little bit of advice, seeing that my Korean abilities are not the most effective.
Once the time finally arrived, we invested the whole afternoon getting prepared. We settled on a good gown- absolutely absolutely nothing fancy- and heels, channeling my internal Koreaness. I headed to Mokdong to access the restaurant where my boyfriend along with sugar daddy la his bro had been waiting.
Used to don’t mind fulfilling the sibling. He did not talk English that is much but had been relaxed sufficient. We attempted to speak with him about things we knew he was interested in, mostly US television shows. Soon, the moms and dads arrived. I stood up to bow appropriately and wish the dad a happy birthday, a Korean phrase I had practiced 100 times that day as they took their seats. These people were friendly sufficient and commented on what good we seemed. I possibly could inform these were a bit uncertain and uncomfortable by what to do. I noticed at the table next to us a Korean family and Western girl about my age as they chatted in Korean. I possibly could observe that exactly the same thing that is exact happening at their dining table, which will be strange since it’s really unusual in Seoul. Yongguen’s moms and dads quickly saw the ditto and got a kick from the jawhorse.
We began enjoying our dinner and things had been going extremely efficiently. There was clearly some talk that is small away. Approximately half an hour or so passed away prior to the awkward meeting started.
Yongguen looked to me personally and had an expression that is worried their face. “I’m maybe perhaps maybe not asking some of these concerns. I am just translating. And I also’m sorry,” he noted before relaying just what their moms and dads asked. “therefore, you clean our ancestral graves? in the event that you two get hitched,” his dad started, “will” WTF. Okay. I experienced perhaps maybe maybe not ready because of this. Happily I experienced read some publications therefore I ended up being partly conscious of why Koreans worship their ancestors and so are constant in beolcho (tidying up their grave internet web web sites). Without having a beat, the sorority president I think that if some one marries another from an unusual tradition, she should respect that culture’s traditions. in me personally arrived using the perfect interview answer, “” I also casually mentioned that i did not need to get hitched any time soon. These people were quite pleased with this solution and proceeded consuming.
I was thinking We happened to be when you look at the clear whenever just a couple of minutes later on their mother chimed in, “Have you got the concept of taemong in the usa?” “Ummm. exactly exactly what’s taemong ?” I inquired Yongguen. He explained for me that in Korea, whenever women can be expecting, either they or shut relatives that are female buddies might have aspirations that predict the delivery of these kid. Specific items dreamed about suggest certain components of the baby-to-be. For instance, then the baby will be a girl if an aunt dreams about fruit. We quickly remembered a discussion my boyfriend and I also had and therefore their mom wanted a dragon when she ended up being pregnant with him, hince the ” Yong ” in the name, meaning dragon. We started initially to think about a number of the old spouses stories that we now have in the us but nobody actually thinks for the reason that material today. Koreans, nevertheless, highly rely on taemong .
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. The thing that was we gonna say to appease her? We had become direct on that one and merely replied, “No, we don’t have such a thing that way in the us.” She did not look happy. Yongguen took a go of soju . We seemed over the dining dining table at their sibling whom, having a grin across their face, had been experiencing the awkwardness of the situation.
Finally, the supper completed. We stated goodbye to his parents and Yongguen, their sibling, and I also met up making use of their relative for some rounds of products. We felt fine but my boyfriend was more nervous than We’d ever seen him, quickly became intoxicated, and ended up being placed to rest early.
We talked to him the next evening, after he’d invested the afternoon along with his household. He said that the seal had been received by me of approval from their moms and dads. They enjoyed me. okay. All that stressing for absolutely absolutely nothing.
Then explained their dad wished to simply take me away to Chuncheon for a few dalk galbi , my personal favorite food that is korean. We felt my stomach fall. Perhaps perhaps maybe Not once again.
Overall, everything went well. We never ever felt judged by my boyfriend’s family members and though the concerns had been much more severe than such a thing we might talk about in a comparable meet-the-parents situation within the western, i am convinced that these people were more interested than any such thing. Devoid of traveled outside Korea, their moms and dads wished to learn more about my tradition, that is understandable. While there will nevertheless be some parents and older generations that do not need to see their kiddies marry out of the Korean battle (no matter if they inhabit Western nations) things are progressing. Folks are becoming more available minded and comprehension of the changing times.